Apparently some old wounds haven’t completely healed after all. Welcome to my shitty Saturday night. What pisses me off is that I was sure I was doing better. It’s been two years. And I don’t think it’s that actual thing that’s bothering me, but the lack of progress in my own life. Even worse, I’m in…

You can’t always get what you want, the song says. But sometimes you get what you need. Well what I need is a fuckin’ break. And a vacation, somewhere. I haven’t traveled since 2008. I haven’t done anything travel-wise since going camping right after I was laid off. I’m slowly going crazy, and not the…

I forgot to write last night. Been writing in this blog for almost 6 months without fail since I exited Toronto East General. And on Good Friday, I lapsed. Trying not to beat on myself for it. But this is a goal I must keep. Not just for my mental health, to use this as…

I was trying to come up with a clever blog post tonight, but that’s just dumb. It’s not what this is about. Sometimes I forget. Tonight I (again) reminded myself that I wanted to start talking with God. That I keep saying I’m going to do it and then forget. Not happy. Waiting to find…

It’s not just for fires. Unless you consider anxiety to be a fire. Which, yeah, I guess it can. This was a physical attack. Like my core body temperature dropped and it felt like I was experiencing hypothermia (not that I’ve had hypothermia). With minor parts dehydration.  

I finally have a Portal ID to log in hours. Only I can’t log in hours. I shit you not. There’s more bugs in the system than a 2-star motel off the Vegas Strip. And now that I’ve finally gotten onto the website, I learned of a new wrinkle. I need a timesheet for each…

Forgot to pick up my pills at the pharmacy. Blanked on putting the ham in the oven to cook tonight so I’d have food tomorrow. I called a co-worker Jennifer when her name was Jessica. There are mornings I will remind myself several times to put the pass around my neck before heading out to…

I feel so small. Fighting this for days. My instincts are wrong. My gut lies. Everything’s out of focus.

I have none again. This is troubling.

Today was not a red banner day.