Can’t sleep. Basically toss and turn, mind run wild. Visiting places of nightmare that were the less than bright moments of my life. Decide instead to embrace the dark and brew a cup of coffee. I can sleep later. Maybe.

Went for the interview/testing today. The end. No, really. I FUBAR’d the testing. It was everything I know instinctively how to do, but no matter what I tried, it wouldn’t work. At one point I closed the Excel file to try and start over, and it wouldn’t open again. It was like taking a driver’s…

I’ve done the math. Crunched the numbers. Figure I’ve got about a month before it comes crashing down. Without a full-time job, I’m gonna burn up on re-entry. Think I’ll go lie down now.

I’m still convinced I’m living in the darker timeline. Nazis in America Trump sabre-rattling with North Korea Trump. The past day or so, I’ve been chatting with a woman, who I shall refer to as J. She lives in Buffalo. We’ve never met but both feel like we’ve known each other for years. I swear…

Two hours. Two hours. After the fucking hell I went through tonight — panic attack, vomiting, questioning my sanity — I get two lousy hours of sleep before being jolted awake. Fuck you, anxiety. I didn’t need this tonight.

I’ve been resisting writing this for the past hour or so. Because I realize, deep down, how insane I’m going to sound.

Earlier tonight, my friend Erin said that sometimes, to shake the words loose, she goes for a walk. For me, it was a TTC streetcar ride. Idea. Must sleep on it. Well I said “Lily, Oh Lily I don’t feel safe I feel that life has blown a great big hole Through me” And she…

Woke up with the brown out at 6:30 am. Sometimes the power goes out for a minute or so early in the mornings in the neighbourhood, but it never lasts. I live on an older street, and don’t expect things to change soon. Decided to do laundry at 8:30 am. It’s nice that there’s no…

and some days, the bear gets you. Today has been some of column a, and some of column b. So, wow. After some googling, I figured out how to replace the atomizer in my ELeaf Pico vape. This was the high point of my day. As for my low point. That’s still ongoing. I’ll know…

I feel like I’m on the edge of an idea; that there’s something struggling to break free. To be written. Only I have no clue what it is. Maybe it’s the humidity. The urge to create is strong, but the clay is unformed and I don’t know where to begin carving. It’s been a ridiculously…