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What the fuck am I even doing here?

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Graphic designer, playwright, occasional asshole

Feelin’ Alright?

I suffer from depression. This is not new. I’m currently in a downswing; this is not new. That I find myself asking myself if I’m okay, that’s me managing the depression. Again, not a surprise.

The answer is always the same. “No.” Or my favorite, “shut up, Steve”. (Kudos to anyone who remembers the old commercial: “What else does the box say?” “It says ‘shut up, Steve’.”)

But lately I’ve added the following: “Yeah, but some day that answer might change.”

I’m trying.

Just like I actually opened my blog and wrote this tonight.

I’m trying.

Maybe I stayed in tonight and watched Gone Girl and The 100-Foot Journey, instead of going out to a film. But I did get out and ran errands, plus skyped my brother and his kids, and then my mom.

I’m trying.

I don’t know where I’m going with this.

But I’m trying.

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2 responses to “Feelin’ Alright?”

  1. Hth Avatar
    Hth

    This is not particularly on topic or relevant. But I just wanted to say that I am proud of you and I think you are rather brave. The most important factors are to keep trying or fighting. And the thing I admire about you is that you do not give up. Keep going and keep as strong as you can.

    Dalai Lama XIV

    “Sometimes when I meet old friends, it reminds me how quickly time passes. And it makes me wonder if we’ve utilized our time properly or not. Proper utilization of time is so important. While we have this body, and especially this amazing human brain, I think every minute is something precious. Our day-to-day existence is very much alive with hope, although there is no guarantee of our future. There is no guarantee that tomorrow at this time we will be here. But we are working for that purely on the basis of hope. So, we need to make the best use of our time. I believe that the proper utilization of time is this: if you can, serve other people, other sentient beings. If not, at least refrain from harming them. I think that is the whole basis of my philosophy.

    So, let us reflect what is truly of value in life, what gives meaning to our lives, and set our priorities on the basis of that. The purpose of our life needs to be positive. We weren’t born with the purpose of causing trouble, harming others. For our life to be of value, I think we must develop basic good human qualities—warmth, kindness, compassion. Then our life becomes meaningful and more peaceful—happier.”

    ― Dalai Lama XIV, The Art of Happiness

    Reply
  2. barblewarne Avatar
    barblewarne

    Hang in there and keep trying. The New Year will be better!!!

    Reply

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