What the fuck am I even doing here?
I’m on a downward swing; finally realized it earlier tonight. Been fighting the current for days (if not over a week) and it’s threatening to dash me against the rocks. And I’ve said before, I shouldn’t swim against it and instead use it to my advantage. But fuck, how do I ride a depressive episode without getting swallowed up?
Worried this is gonna be a bad one, and this time I’m not afraid to ask for help. Anyone got a floatation device?
Cake?
As long as the cake isn’t a lie.
In the movie Shartered, Bob Hoskins’ character survived by breathing in through a can of compressed air or gases that people use for treating asthma attacks. You are resourceful and I would say more resilient than you give yourself fredit or realize. Camus noted “Men must live and create. Live to the point of tears” why not check out some great work or works by Camus or Victor Hugo or Marcus Aurelius or some of the philosophical giants. You may discover or realize that your sensitivities could yield many insights snd and that they can be strengths of sorts too. Keep your mind open to how great minds have thought and grown. John Steven Akwari went the distance and do will you. Either that or listen to. “I go swimming” from Peter Gabriel’s “plays live” and think that the water that surrounds you is some joy or hope. Jump in and keep swimming.
Hang in there, Paul.
I’ll call later tomorrow night.
Kevin
Date: Tue, 19 Aug 2014 03:24:14 +0000 To: kevinkoster143@msn.com
1. Call your doctor/team – see if your meds need adjusting.
2. Have a yummy salmon dinner and take some Omega 3s supplements – happy brain food
3. Encourage a young reader (ie the do something to make someone else happy) – go to your favourite comic book store and talk to your peeps, buy one comic appropriate for a 5 year old and send it to Matthew. He loves reading, loves superheroes and loves getting mail. ($ & addy to come).
4. Call a friend and have coffee, call a friend and go for a walk, call a friend and talk (sorry i’m too far away to go for coffee or walk) – you have lots of people who care.
5. Check out Haily Bartholomew – in a effort to fight her depression she began taking one photograph every day of something she was grateful for. As patterns in her images unfolded she was able to use them to find happiness. http://365grateful.com/
6. Get out of the house and go for a long walk – head to the beaches, high park or another favourite spot.
7. Curl up on the couch with your kitties and watch one of your favourite old movies.
8. Write something new.
9. Have a piece of really good dark chocolate.
10. Ask for more help as needed.
Take care – Suzi
The Bloody Doors Off 
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