Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’
Rawhide
It’s Saturday night, I’m a little stoned and have a glass of wine beside me.
Do not adjust your sets. The interference is temporary.
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It’s 10 years ago.
It’s 5 years ago.
It’s today.
I seriously doubt I’ll sleep much tonight.
Hey little girl is your daddy home
Did he go away and leave you all alone
I got a bad desire
I’m on fire
Tell me now baby is he good to you
Can he do to you the things that I do
I can take you higher
I’m on fire
Sometimes it’s like someone took a knife baby
Edgy and dull and cut a six-inch valley
Through the middle of my soul
At night I wake up with the sheets soaking wet
And a freight train running through the
Middle of my head
Only you can cool my desire
I’m on fire -
These 5 am wake ups have got to stop.
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So I’ve entered a new phase. The panic has subsided and the anxiety lessened, both giving way to…
… nothing.
I feel numb.
And that would really scare me, if I felt anything.
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So it seems that I’ve made it through 2016.
Sunovabitch.
Honestly, there were times I doubted it; or at least seeing the New Year in outside of Ward H.
(Language ahoy; if you’re easily put off by a potty mouth, I’ll understand if you don’t want to read.)
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Alright, almost 19 hours into my 48 hour window to the soul. And where do I stand?
On shaky ground.
I’ve had a great support system today; my friend Laura came over during the day, and Scott and Steph in the evening. I gave Laura my extra stash of sleeping pills to hold onto.
But now I’m alone and in my pajamas and I took my meds for the night. And it’s just me and my brain.
Should be interesting.
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5:30 am and still looking for sleep.
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It’s 2am. Still wired. I’ve taken my nightly assortment of meds, including the sleeping pill, because let’s face it, I can’t get to sleep without it. And no, I didn’t overdo it. Just the prescribed amount.
Yes, I have a plan.
