The Bloody Doors Off

Eating is.

Odd.

I dipped my finger in warm sauce.

I’m not allowed hot food today but Dr. Sugarman said warm food was fine.

And so I need to test the temperature.

I bring it to my lips.

There are no upper teeth to block my finger.

No teeth to buffer the sauce back along my tongue.

Alien.

I do not like this.

Thursday can’t come soon enough.

I am a reverse-toothless vampire.

Canines are intact. If I was a bloodsucker, I wouldn’t starve.

But I have to use my back teeth to chew.

There’s so much food in the fridge but I dunno how I’m gonna eat it.

‘Sides, can’t have hot things for the first 24 hours.

Let this be a lesson, kids.

Don’t fuck around with your teeth.

You’ll miss ’em when they’re gone.

Front four teeth extracted.

One of them had a cyst.

That’s not good.

Luckily it’s draining and shouldn’t pose any further problems.

I’ll be eating gauze for a few hours.

But we have ice cream.

And I get transitional dentures Thursday afternoon.

So get it outta your system now.

‘Cuz I ain’t gonna be Stumpy for long.

Can’t sleep.

Never could, the night before a flight out of town.

The anxiety messes with me.

Didn’t wanna miss take-off.

Moving on is a chance that you take every time
You try to stay together
Say a word out of line and you find
That the friends you had are gone
Forever, forever
So many faces in and out of my life
Some will last, some will just be now and then
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes
I’m afraid it’s time for goodbye again

Say Goodbye to Hollywood, Billy Joel

This has nothing to do with my mood, I just like the lyrics.

I remember my brother’s Wayne’s wedding. His best man, Joe, and I hopped into his convertible on a hot, sunny September day (the 5^th, if I’m correct, but don’t ask me the year) and drove from the Lusteads’ beautiful property (their lot was twice the size of anyone else’s on the block, and the park we backed onto was named after their family) to the reception hall.

This song played. And it was the. Song. Of the moment.

That was a good day.

I need to put that song on my Spotify list.

Harold’s digging around the back of my head.

I’m throwing up blocks.

Keeping him out.

Deep breaths.

It’s gonna be okay.

Three days.

And a new chapter begins.

With teeth I’m not afraid to eat corn on the cob.

Gonna be a long three days.

Sure.

Waiting always feels longer.

Did Einstein ever work that formula out?

Hawking?

I could use a distraction or two.

Best of both worlds.

They’re gonna do the extractions on Monday, after all.

And they found time on Thursday for me to come in and get the dentures put in.

I dunno how, but the universe came through for me today.

And it’s not going unnoticed.

Or unappreciated.

So, my dentures will not be ready on Monday.

Which means they can’t extract the rest of the teeth until they come in.

On Thursday.

For which there are currently no appointments.

And I’m going to a cottage on Saturday.

They won’t pull the teeth before the dentures are ready, because that’s the impression they took.

A second impression would have to be taken if they extracted the teeth first.

I’m on a waitlist.

I don’t want to wait until August 31^st, but I might have to.

If the one tooth will wait that long.

It’s pretty loose.

I’m already afraid to eat solid foods because of it.

Keeping my fingers crossed for a positive phone call later today.

Disparage yourself in your blog.

She’ll set you straight.

I love my wife.