The Bloody Doors Off

There’s an incessant beeping.

The only discernible pattern is .

Well I was gonna say it had a consistent on/off sound.

Only now it’s stopped.

I swear. It sounded like a truck backing up the last two miles.

But it’s gone.

And it completely blows a hole in this post.

Some memories can go fuck off and die in a horrible fire.

No, I don’t feel like writing about it.

It doesn’t need any more space in my brain than it’s already taken up.

Yes, it shook my worldview at the time.

:Yes, I got past it.

Yes, it still hurts.

The end.

Hello, okay. New teeth, that’s weird. So, where was I? Oh, that’s right, Barcelona!

David Tennant, Doctor Who

Got the bottom chompers this afternoon.

Feels weird.

They hook around other teeth to keep them in place. Very different from the top plate.

It turns out, I’m not done.

Gotta get a couple of fillings.

And another top tooth is gonna get extracted, with x-rays to determine if others need to be pulled. Sigh.

This has been a hard lesson to learn.

Take care of your fucking teeth, people.

And seriously, government people. The NDP’s idea of universal dental and pharmacare is a good one. If I thought they had a hope of winning the election on the 20th, I’d be voting for them. So, you want my vote, Liberals? Take them up on it. (Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere near the CONServatives.)

When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child.
But when I grew up, I put away childish things.

The King James Bible, Corinthians 1:13

Don’t worry, I’m not about to go on a religious rant.

Another time.

This is about letting shit go.

And I’m not talking about ‘so-and-so did me wrong [15] years ago, and only now am I able to forgive’.

I mean, actual physical shit.

Like cigarettes.

Took me three tries, and being locked up in the psych ward for three days to help kick the habit.

(Seriously, if you haven’t caught up on that adventure, check out my posts from 2013.)

I did stop.

But I replaced it with vaping.

At first, there was nicotine, but I began to wean myself off of that to where I am now, basically inhaling water vapour.

Or, where I was two weeks ago.

‘Cuz when I had the top teeth removed, I wasn’t allowed to smoke or vape for four days.

A day longer than when I threw away the cigarettes.

And this was without nicotine.

So no cravings.

I haven’t donated my vapes to the next person who wants to quit.

Not yet.

But I will.

And now comes an even more monumental task.

I’ve been collecting comics since I was twelve.

Over the years, I’ve made a conscious effort to pare down my collection.

Moving a dozen comic book boxes from one apartment to the next will motivate you to do that.

At first, I sold only to a serious collector, who gave me good money for some of my stuff.

And I had good stuff.

Giant Size X-Men #1. Excellent condition.

Todd McFarlane’s first issue of Spider-Man, and his first issue of Spawn.

Stuff like that.

Anyways.

I currently have (I think, because the store didn’t have comic book boxes today) three boxes of comics.

Ninety percent of them? Unread.

I’ve been going through the motions, collecting.

Always telling myself I’ll find a day to get into them.

During the pandemic, I started winnowing down the number of titles I collected.

And then stores closed for a few months; everything got backlogged. Not to mention the FUBAR DC Comics walking away from the one distributor who could guarantee the ship date and the delivery date.

I was there on day one when the Silver Snail re-opened.

But aside from picking up the last remnants of a DC event title and a few others, my pile was shrinking further.

The past three weeks, there’s been nothing in the pre-order that interested me.

I think I was down to five or six titles? If I’m being generous.

So today I made the choice.

I’m gonna continue to enjoy the hell out of the MCU movies and television shows, and give the DCEU a chance, but I’m selling off the last of my collection.

Once I can acquire the comic book boxes.

Because ya know, you’d think a comic book store would have them to sell.

You’d think.

You’d be wrong.

So it might be a little bit before the Final Purge.^TM

But it’s time I moved on from the comics.

Just don’t come for my coffee.

‘Cuz I’ll cut you.

When we were strangers
I watched you from afar
When we were lovers
I loved you with all my heart

But now it’s gettin’ late
And the moon is climbin’ high
I want to celebrate
See it shinin’ in your eye

Because I’m still in love with you
I want to see you dance again
Because I’m still in love with you
On this harvest moon

Harvest Moon, Neil Young

Baby, take off your coat
Real slow
And take off your shoes
I’ll take off your shoes
Baby, take off your dress
Yes, yes, yes

You Can Leave Your Hat On, Joe Cocker

It feels like a Sunday.

It really does.

I’m on the third load of laundry.

Fuck it’s almost 7pm.

The day’s flown by.

The weather is perfect.

For early October.

But I’m not complaining.

No sir.

Looked ahead at the forecast.

More of the same.

Woke up to the thunderstorm this morning.

Never happens.

I always miss it.

Today I got to enjoy four good rumbles of thunder.

Before it moved on.

What was that? 6:30 am?

Went back to bed an hour later.

Got another two hours in.

Almost never happens.

Unless it’s Sunday.

If it’s gonna happen.

It’s on a Sunday.

Are we sure it’s not Sunday?

Because I’m not ready for Thursday.

The boy goes to high school then.

Which means I’ll be up at 6:30 am.

Every morning.

A little quiet time for me.

Then to get his lunch packed.

Hopefully wake him up on the second attempt.

I think the weather turned to give us a heads up.

Summer vacation is over.

Bonus points if you can guess the reference without Googling.

Fuck Uber Eats.

Tried to order using their website and it rejected my order, twice.

So I switched to STD.

An hour later, I get a receipt from UE for the food.

Driver arrives with food, we eat it.

Turns out.

That was the Uber Eats order.

Skip the Dishes ALSO delivered, but left it in the lobby downstairs.

Marlo suggested I call the restaurant itself and make sure this didn’t happen.

I should’ve listened.

On the upside, we have additional cheesecake.

But I should’ve listened.

Well I knew I was in trouble now
My hope of winning sank
‘Cause I got the Daily Double now
And then my mind went blank
I took Potpourri for one hundred
And then my head started to spin
Well, I’m givin’ up. Don Pardo
Just tell me now what I didn’t win
Yeah, yeah

I Lost on Jeopardy, “Weird” Al Yankovic

Been thinking, just now, about cancel culture.

Specifically, Mike Richards. The former EP and successor to Alex Trebek got fired over comments he’d made on a podcast (I think) close to a decade ago. I dunno what bothers me more: becoming a villain for something you once said, as a joke or not, and not being able to defend yourself and make amends, or how quick to judgment we are when someone above us missteps.

Better people than I can argue both sides of cancel culture. I’m not going to defend it, but I’m not going to condemn it either. But shit, people. We evolve. Or die. We can’t stay still as a human being. Who I was at 16 has no connection to how I am at almost early retirement age. (And I’m never gonna be able to retire, let’s make that clear.) Okay, I’ve formed long-term connections and friendships, but honestly those happened in my early 20s. I can count on one hand the number of friends I’m in contact with after high school. And Cedarbrae’s 60^th anniversary is coming up in 2022 and I’m gonna go, and be amazed at the flood of memories and reconnections. Even if it’s just for the one day.

Right. Tangent.

People evolve. We’re (okay, 99% of us) are always learning new things and reconsidering long-held opinions and beliefs. The best of us actually can have our thoughts on a particular subject changed to align with

Christ. That was some boring shit I was about to spout.

And not at all what this post was supposed to be about.

When will I be cancelled?

I’m sure I’ve behaved poorly in the past. Whether I was sober, drunk, or stoned. I will have undoubtedly insulted/belittled some [insert your trigger here]. And at the time, I may have believed it.

I’m 99% positive that I don’t any longer.

Because I grew up. I matured.

Hell, I’m still maturing. May I never stop.

And I’m extremely sorry and embarrassed for my words and/or behaviour.

Will I still get cancelled? Do I deserve to be cancelled?

Or can my words and actions today, when the ugliness surfaced from possibly decades earlier, prove that I deserve a second chance?

Yeah.

Try living with that in your head.

But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older too

Landslide, Fleetwood Mac

Fuck getting older.

If I had my twenty-year old body, with my nearly 55-year old mind.

I’d be unstoppable.

Okay. Hyperbole.

My anxiety got worse, the older I got.

But the sentiment.

To have that energy.

The stamina.

The smaller gut.

Heh.

Used to say, “give me a few minutes”.

Then, “give me a few hours.”

Now.

“Gimme a day.”

Everything slows down.

You’ve gotta learn to compensate.

Adapt.

Improvise.

Even in my work.

I recognize I’m being eclipsed by the new crop.

They know so much more than me.

I’m playing catch-up.

Adapting.

Improvising.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’ve accomplished some great things.

Not the least of which was meeting my wife.

But physically, I feel it.

I know. Age is a state of mind.

Which makes me.

Definitely not twenty.

I remember, in my twenties, thinking I’d be improvising forever.

That’s how much I loved it.

Now.

It’s passed me by.

People are more concerned about getting the next laugh.

I liked telling a story.

Which led me to playwriting. (I have no idea if that’s spelled right.)

But even that’s dried up right now.

Maybe the change in season will spark something.

Maybe I just need to make a wish on a Zoltar machine.

If Tom Hanks can be Big.

I could be.

Unstoppable.

Hello? (Hello? Hello? Hello?)Is there anybody in there?
Just nod if you can hear me
Is there anyone home?
Come on now
I hear you’re feeling down
Well I can ease your pain
Get you on your feet again
Relax
I’ll need some information first
Just the basic facts
Can you show me where it hurts?

There is no pain you are receding
A distant ship smoke on the horizon
You are only coming through in waves
Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying
When I was a child I had a fever
My hands felt just like two balloons
Now I’ve got that feeling once again
I can’t explain you would not understand
This is not how I am
I have become comfortably numb

Comfortably Numb, Pink Floyd

Well, that’s done.

They’ll have to reassess sometime in the near future to see what else needs to be worked on; if more teeth need to come out, or taking care of cavities.

I’ve said it before, and it bears repeating: Nitrous is the Shit. Although I’m not sure why it’s referred to as laughing gas. Sure it makes you feel stoned, but no giggle fits. And it wears off the instant you remove the mask.

Television has been lying to us.