Today was sloppy, in every sense of the word. First, I couldn’t wake up with the alarm. I’d set it for 10am (decided it’d be nice to sleep in a bit) after going to bed at 1am. But nope, couldn’t get my ass out of bed. After half an hour, I managed to get up…

That nightmare’s still got me shook up. I have honestly no idea what triggered it. Worse, towards the end it became lucid dreaming, and I still couldn’t change the outcome. You ever see Vanilla Sky? That’s how it felt. (Oddly, I really enjoyed that movie even though it got panned by the critics.) My feet…

Worst night ever. Dreamt of a murder, was sentenced to death, despite loudly proclaiming that it was an accident. My brain betrays me, even in sleep.

The past week it’s been near impossible to write in my blog, and I couldn’t figure out why. I also haven’t been sleeping well. I think the two are related. Because I’ve been keeping just how awful I’ve been feeling to myself. Today I realized it more than ever, just how paralyzed I am feeling.…

Now is the winter of my discontent, made worse by the winds of the North. Seriously, I fucking hate this weather. (Aside, I just saw an ad for pills for bi-polar depression: possible side-effect, increased thoughts of suicide, oh fucking joy.) I like to walk, but not in -30c weather. My doctor recommends it; he…

I really wish there was an upgrade I could order for my brain. Or a factory reset. Microsoft pretty much admitted this week that they’re re-releasing Windows 7 due to “popular demand” (meaning, Windows 8 ain’t doing that well among users). I’d really love to run a system restore on my mental/emotional state sometimes. But…

I’d like to think I’m a team player. Screw it. I’ve got nothing tonight. The tank is empty. Ladies and gentlemen, Mister Conway Twitty.

I’m not talking about alcohol, though I’ve got stories. One day I’ll tell them. There’s one in particular I can never get forgiveness for. I’m going on almost 3 months without a cigarette. The anniversary is coming up in a week. The liquid cum vapor e-cigarette is helping. There are times I still crave the…

I promised myself I’d write daily, without fail. It is after 2am, and I am very tired. Today was, on the whole, a decent day. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. One thing is for certain, for the foreseeable future there will be renovations/construction going on above me 6 days a week, from 10am…

I give you the sun that once rested on my head so early in the morning. May it warm you in the coldest moments. I offer my breath, so that you may exhale when the pain grows to great. I bequeath my heart, may it one day be repaired and help another find love. I…