My doctor put it to me this morning that I’m not a naturally happy person, and I have to work hard to find my happiness. And he’s right. Even on my brother Wayne’s wedding day, I struggled. And there it is. A confession. No one knew that. I’ve held onto that little nugget for 25…

Previously… I helped a friend with a little unpacking clean-up after his move on Saturday. Feeling like a leisurely afternoon, I plan to stroll through Kensington Market before a jaunt to Staples. But first, I need money. There’s an RBC ATM at the Rexall at Spadina and College; I make the decision to pop in…

All my life, I’ve heard, and been told, don’t sweat the small stuff. Makes a lot of sense; avoid stress, find peace. Never happened. I’m reading Chris Hadfield’s autobiography, An Astronaut’s Guide to Life on Earth, and in the preamble, he says ‘no, do sweat the small stuff’. Because it made him more aware of…

More overtime. And I volunteered because we were short-handed. I don’t know if I’m just embracing the contract, or running from something.

Helluva day. I really hit my stride at work. Fired on all cylinders; didn’t take a lunch but got out on time. Had a decent dinner when I got home. So why the fuck do I feel empty? Seriously. I’m not manic tonight. Might’ve fed on that energy during the day, but it was warranted.…

And I feel like I’ve barely taken a step.  

Today I installed a keyboard tray under my computer desk. 99%. A neighbour helped drill the holes so I could screw the final pieces in. (I’d loaned out my drill.) Seriously. This is a big deal for me. It went almost flawlessly, and when I hit that moment where I could progress no further on…

I sneezed so hard this afternoon, I bit my tongue. Bloody allergies. They’re killing me. I gotta use a nasal spray to unclog the old proboscis. Enough fluff. The manic episodes continue. Happened yesterday at Jason and Paige’s wedding reception. Challenging my brother to karaoke, passively-aggressively taking credit for one of the jokes he told…

Spent 13 hours in the office, the last 4 of which were a waste of time because the job I was fixing, someone else was also correcting. Fuck. Gotta let it go and sleep. Being pissed off isn’t going to help.