It’s 2am. Still wired. I’ve taken my nightly assortment of meds, including the sleeping pill, because let’s face it, I can’t get to sleep without it. And no, I didn’t overdo it. Just the prescribed amount. Yes, I have a plan.

I am at a crossroads. I’m. It’s 1 am and I’m sitting here at the computer. Wired and coming off an intense high.

Can’t go crazy this weekend. I’ve got a golf game with Kevin on Saturday. Toronto Rehab appointment on Wednesday, and the endocrinologist (did I spell that right?) on Thursday. The following Monday I’m back at the Diabetes clinic; begin exercise clinic w/ Toronto Rehab the same day; more appointments. Goddamit. I need time to go…

you’re slipping. and there’s nothing you can do to stop the slide.

My doctor wants to challenge me, to get me out of my comfort zone. To stop just accepting things that happen to me, but to make things happen. This includes ‘exorcising’ as he calls it, the act of exercising to exorcise my personal demons, and writing. Especially the latter. He makes it a point to…

Something I’ve discovered about being bi-polar, is I sometimes am overcome with a need to do things that could be considered self-destructive. Most recently, this presented itself as a gambling run at the casinos in Niagara Falls.

There once was a boy who loved a girl, and she loved him back. And yet, it ended. Because it always ends, it would seem. Not just relationships, but circumstances. Situations. I’m tired of endings. I need a new beginning.

When I was at my worst, back in the fall of 2012, before the breakdown, I fantasized of running away. No particular destination in mind, just an escape. Purchase a bus ticket to anywhere and start over. Obviously I didn’t. Because I was, for lack of a better word, chicken shit. I liked to think…

Woke up late. I dunno why I can’t wake up with the alarm. I actually wake up before it goes off and force myself back to sleep. And then I ignore the clock. I wonder what would happen if I just got up earlier? Other than spending more hours twiddling my thumbs, searching for work,…

My life is consumed with waiting for things that I have no idea will ever arrive, a job chief among them. No ideas for stories in my head, no drive to write beyond these simple sentences. I need inspiration. I need. Godot.