Fuck. You.

This morning is proving especially difficult.

For the past hour, I’ve been vacillating between extreme outrage and depression. All manufactured. It’s not real. Not the reason for the anger or the downbeat. No. It’s Harold. He’s picking fights in my brain, trying to stir up shit. Oh that’s right, not everyone knows who Harold is. Harold is the voice of despair…

I’m in, for lack of a better word, a major funk. It’s easy to blame Covid for this. Being in lockdown for months, barely leaving the apartment only to walk Auggie/check the mail/go to the pharmacy for prescriptions. Work has been sporadic, but better than the entirety of last year. And we’re planning to take…

Tonight it hit me that, in just a few days, I’m turning 54. And it scared the shit out of me. I began thinking. I’m not ready to let this go. And it scared the absolute shit out of me. Then I tried to update my blog, to discover WordPress updated their layout and fucked…

The past week or so, I’ve been a bit obsessed with mortality; namely, mine. A morbid topic for a cheery time of year, to be sure. But when I had a tinge of chest pain (mostly indigestion, I’m sure), it started the mind whirling. And of course, being me, I haven’t wanted to say anything because…

Been a while. Aside from a few dips, mostly in the evenings, I’ve been pretty happy. I’m producing a Fringe show, my contract was extended at work, I’m happily married and a step-father. But I’m still learning. Oh yes. Like tonight. Marlo and I went to see Grapes of Wrath and Crash Test Dummies at…

I made a goal earlier this year; I was going to apply for the Toronto Fringe with my 90 minute play, The Promised Land. It’s an homage to film noir and, if played right, can be quite funny (until it turns serious). But with work being tight and the wedding approaching in November, I considered…

Crap, really? I’m approaching 1,500 posts? Whoa. Milestone. Thing is, you kinda expect lightning bolt moments to hit you on a milestone event. This one comes in a bit… premature? I have PME syndrome? I’m being a bit silly. And that’s the milestone, for me. This blog doesn’t have to focus solely on my depression…

So I’ve been wrestling with this for a while, and I think I finally understand why.