You know who I’m feeling bad for? Mohammed. Not the Prophet. Just a guy named Mohammed. He called earlier today. No really. He was a telemarketer peddling air duct cleaning services. The poor man had to put up with my: “I have no ducts, only geese” joke before I hung up in his ear. But…

I have no idea what this post is about. Just felt. Compelled. To open up a page and begin typing. Aaaaaaand then I draw a blank. Conducive. I love our neighbourhood. Living next to the Distillery, I never get tired of walking through it on a near daily basis. I miss the open stores. Can’t…

Hello. Been a couple of days. Since. That reveal. I was spent. Like. A fifty-four year-old had sex and … Cums. (We’re all adults here. Oh gods, are we all adults here?) My point. You got one loaded in the chamber and the hammer struck the shell casing. Massive explosion. But there’s no more bullets.…

You know when you dream your teeth fall out? Everyone’s had at least one. Part of the psychic gestalt. Everyone dreams of flying. Everyone has nightmares of spitting teeth out of your mouth. I’m currently living that nightmare. My teeth, for lack of a better term, are fucked. The two front teeth feel like they…

Okay, that last post was a cheat. I mean, c’mon, two sentences? You clicked for two sentences. If I charged a nickel for each post, you’d ask for ten cents back. I don’t have anything pressing to talk about tonight. Well, there is, but that’s not something I’m prepared to divulge. Yeah I know. Another…

I have SportsNet One. Bye Amazon Prime. 🙂

And you may find yourself living in a shotgun shackAnd you may find yourself in another part of the worldAnd you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobileAnd you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wifeAnd you may ask yourself, “Well… how did I get here?” Once in…

“I am a danger to myself.” Let that set in. Feel the weight of that sentence on your chest. You can’t breathe. The air’s been knocked out of your lungs. “I am a danger to myself.” Imagine hearing those words in your head. Resonating. Rationalizing. “How am I a danger to myself? How am I…

Donald Trump shut down his blog because no one was reading it. As my friend Scott would say, this proves my ramblings are more interesting than his. Or ya know, he just gave up on it because he couldn’t figure out how to rhyme covefe. (Machete.) Danny Trejo got his start in movies not even…

Talking about Mid earlier, got me thinking about friendships. The first best friend I ever had, was Doug. He lived across the street from me. We went to school together, came home and ate lunches together, made up stupid TV shows, played baseball, built forts. We drifted when it came time for high school. I…