You know what? I don’t give a fuck about waiting to talk to my psychiatrist. I’m going off the lithium. The mental and physical paralysis is too much to take.

I think it went wanderin’ off down yonderAnd stumbled onto Jeff VanVonderen‘Cause I need an interventionistTo intervene between me and this monsterAnd save me from myself and all this conflict‘Cause the very thing that I love’s killing meAnd I can’t conquer itMy OCD is conkin’ me in the head, keep knockin’Nobody’s home, I’m sleepwalkin’I’m just…

Last night got kinda dark. Harold came for a visit. Normally when he drops by, I get a very strong feeling of despair. Last night I felt. Nothing. Which I’m gonna say is worse. Obviously, it didn’t last. Never does. And I’m able to recognize it, even when I’m dancing on the serrated edge. This…

My mind and body are rebelling. Restless leg is flaring up earlier in the evening, sometimes so severe I have no choice but to kick out for momentary relief. Used to affect me only when I slept. Now I have to take my pills by nightfall just to get relief. My dentures feel alien tonight.…

Mornings are proving difficult. Normally I’m up at 6:30am, taking a little me time before waking the household and getting the boy’s lunch prepared before he heads off to school. But this week I’ve struggled to get out of bed, usually taking between 30 and 60 minutes to get moving. Today is a school-from-home day…

The dental work continues, unabated. Four fillings to take care of later this month. Then a six month reprieve, aside from cleanings, before one final tooth gets pulled and a new top mould is taken. Which means I’ll be rocking these temporary dentures for half a year, at least. I’m okay with that. Hopefully work…

I can’t write. It just won’t come out. There are fleeting thoughts that I linger over, wondering what station that train of thought would deposit me. Jeebus. That last sentence started innocently, and got corrupted real fast. Am I trying too hard? In this moment, maybe. But this is a good exercise. Don’t discard the…

Trading cards. I remember collecting trading cards. But not baseball, no that was my brother Wayne’s pastime. I was into comics and comic book movies. You believed a man could fly. And a lone figure who struck fear in the underworld by dressing as a bat. I was into the 1989 Batman movie starring Michael…

I was gonna post the following: “Lisa Loeb. Goddamned American Treasure or Dominatrix Bent on World Domination? Discuss.” And I wanted to link the specific song I was thinking of. What I Am. Only Lisa Loeb did NOT record that song. Edie Brickell did. So yeah. Senior moment. Oh gods, I qualify for the early…

Cathy, I’m lost, I said though I knew she was sleepingAnd I’m empty and aching and I don’t know whyCounting the cars on the New Jersey TurnpikeThey’ve all come to look for America America, Simon & Garfunkle I may have used that before. I reserve the right to reuse, if it fits my mood. Which…