Battling inertia is exhausting. I feel as though there’s a 50 pound weight tied around my soul. I can still move and get things done, but the expended effort is tremendous. It took 15 minutes to tie my shoes in order to walk the dog. It may sound similar to the side effects of taking…

Goddamn it. The one problem with having a flash of creativity, is the possibility you can’t turn it off when it’s done. Email from a client, asking for designs for their company holiday party. They were honest and said they had no direction, that the discretion was mine. And I thought back to when I…

I slept in this morning. Didn’t wake up until after 10am. Normally I’m up at 6:30 am, even without my alarm. The body just decides that’s enough and jolts me awake. Not today. Okay, I didn’t go to bed until 1 am last night. Usually I’m in bed at 11 pm. But we got to…

Given my brief foray into mania this afternoon, I’d say the lithium is out of my system.

This is the first time I had an anxiety attack while shopping online for groceries. I once had a meltdown in a No Frills. (Shortly after I got out of the hospital.) That was hell. It’s pushing the same buttons tonight. So I put on Wheel of Fortune to calm down. And I realize, oh…

These mist covered mountainsAre a home now for meBut my home is the lowlandsAnd always will beSomeday you’ll return toYour valleys and your farmsAnd you’ll no longer burn to beBrothers in arms Through these fields of destructionBaptisms of fireI’ve witnessed your sufferingAs the battle raged highAnd though they did hurt me so badIn the fear…

No quippy title tonight. I’m feeling kinda raw. Watched a video of my mom chair dancing to Gangnam Style, and while it made me smile, it made me miss her even more. And being November, it reminded me of our annual “Christmas in November”. Mom and Larry wintered in Florida and always made the drive…

One pill makes you largerAnd one pill makes you small,And the ones that mother gives youDon’t do anything at all.Go ask AliceWhen she’s ten feet tall. White Rabbit, Jefferson Airplane I’m stuck. I’m searching for a way to frame it, so it’ll make sense. No luck so far. It’s a feeling, not a physical impediment.…

Despite my threats yesterday, I took a lithium this morning. Same issues. Spoke with my psychiatrist just now, and he’s agreed I can stop taking them effective immediately. “Some experiments fail,” he said. We’re not going to replace it right now; instead we’ll see how I fare in the short-term on just Wellbutrin with a…