The Bloody Doors Off

I don’t advertise this. But I sometimes get feelings of things to come.

earliest memory

I knew the moment my paternal grandfather passed away from cancer. I was at a high school drama club party, and I got hit with a feeling. Like someone had just walked through me. I went home and fell asleep, only to be woken by the phone call.

I could predict little things: a song cued up on the radio, outcomes of sporting events.

you can dance if you want to, you can leave your cares behind

I had a best friend, Doug. He’d gotten engaged to Kim and before their wedding, I dreamt of having an argument with the date I was bringing, and watched her walk away from me and spend the rest of the evening with another friend, George.

And then the narrative skipped ahead, and she I had married.

In this moment, I’m confident you know what happened at the wedding reception.

Never did get married.

christmas in july

But she did introduce me to a psychic one evening, booked an appointment for me. Before I’d said a word, she asked: “You have such wonderful stories to tell. Why did you stop writing?”

No one knew that. No one.

Her name was (is? I can’t find a social media presence) Christmas Henderson. She gave me a book of Longfellow poetry; said she didn’t know why, but it was meant to be in my hands. Shortly thereafter, I gave the book to my companion.

She loved Longfellow. It was her favourite poet.

9 1/2 weeks

In my early improv days, when I was taking intermediate classes at Harbourfront, a fellow improviser introduced me to his friend. She had a kind face, and the rest of her was inviting. My first thought as I shook her hand: “I’m going to have sex with her.” (Look, I’m not trying to be sexist or crude, and I don’t think this qualifies as cancelling me.)

I had recently come into possession of 2 tickets to Yuk Yuk’s at Yonge and Eglinton and invited her. She was enthusiastic about going. As we exited the subway, she turned to me and said, “Oh, I meant to tell you. I’m married.”

Record scratch.

Wow, I was wrong.

Only I wasn’t.

I hosted a party at my father’s townhouse (where I and my oldest brother were living at the time). He was away at a convention, I think. I had a friend DJ’ing in the dining room nook. The place was jumping. Literally. Everyone dancing in the living room and I swear the floor bounced.

She showed up at the party. And things got very interesting.

Ice cubes were involved. There was a make out session in the basement.

She said she wished she met me six months earlier. I asked why. “That’s when I got married.”

We embarked on a short, but passionate affair.

(Okay, we’re getting into cancel territory here. I did feel guilt. That was the catholic in me trying to escape its desolate plane of existence where I’d banned it to years prior. (I could not accept a lot of Church doctrine.) )

Let me say, not as an excuse. She initiated. You should’ve seen the dress she didn’t wear to the party. And I did mention the ice cubes.

It was hot. Taboo. It lasted about two months. The guilt got to her. I’d supressed mine. Broke down later. Promised never to do that again.

And kept my promise.

christmas in december

It was either December 1998 or 1999. (You’d think I’d remember that.) Working the midnight shift, the night before the office Christmas Party at the O’Keefe Centre. No, it was the Hummingbird then. I had a moment. One of my work colleagues popped into my head, unbidden. Suzi.

Sure I can predict things, but I can’t anticipate human interest. But at the party, I suggested wouldn’t it be fun if we pretended to flirt, and see if any of our colleagues picked up on it. Laughter, Hands stroking arms. We stepped outside into the crisp winter air, right outside the full wall glass windows of the party area. I suggested taking it up a notch, as no one seemed to pay us any attention. Maybe we kiss and see if anyone tells.

There were sparks. Shortly thereafter, we ran off to the underground PATH and began our adventure together.

“united 93, you are off course”

Four days before 9/11. I turned to my then girlfriend Suzi and said, “something is very wrong. something is going to happen” (or words to that effect, it was 23 years ago). I got home that fateful morning after working the midnight shift at my presentation specialist job and went to bed. Only to be woken 45 minutes later to come out and see the World Trade Centre on fire.

yes, i’m getting to the point

Someone walked through me tonight.