The Bloody Doors Off

I was out, earlier today. Errands. Needed coins from the bank for laundry (our washing machine is the one thing in our house that doesn’t get agitated when the furry kids don’t get along) and to drop off 2 parcels to Canada Post.*

*Should have been 1 parcel.** That’s another story.

**Two bags. I don’t know why I couldn’t find a reusable bag large enough to fit them***

***They’re taking over the hallway. Has anyone realized yet this is worse than the previous system?

The streetcar was short-turning one stop east of my destination. No biggie. Weather was nippy and overcast; pulled up the zipper on my new winter jacket.*

*That’s another story too.

I cross the street south, and carry on.

Two steps and I trip. I careen forward, picking up speed as I flail my arms as if they will catch my descent and reverse the incline.

There’s a woman directly in front of me. I can’t get out of the way. Maybe she’ll brace with extended arms to catch my fall.

Or she could step aside and let me eat pavement.*

*I wanted to make this post a Choose Your Adventure but I live in Toronto. There’s only one outcome.**

**I ate pavement, the packages scattered on the concrete.

I rolled onto my back. I’m pretty sure I said FUCK* at least once.

*Is the bold face too much?

Thankfully, a good Samaritan crossed the street to assist. He helped me up, made sure I was okay.*

*I don’t think he lives in Toronto. My bet is he was on his way to catch a GO Train at Union Station to parts east of the downtown core, where they make a habit of stretching their arms and catching people as they trip on a smooth surface.

When I got back to the neighbourhood, I slipped into the Distillery Winter Market and stood in line for 30+ minutes to get 5 bars of Aero Truffle candy.*

*These are full size. And they’re giving them away.

Once out of the uh, dome*, I hot-footed it to the exit and home.**

*Why does EVERYONE have to take a fucking selfie in that thing? Okay, it’s got pretty lights. But are you really gonna post a picture of you holding multiple chocolate bars?

**The crowds are INSANE. Even on Monday. And we’re stuck with this until January 7^th, 2024.

TL:DR I am starting to hate this city.