The Bloody Doors Off

Every morning — basically when you wake up — Murphy will get in your face and DEMAND breakfast. Give each of them a ‘good handful’ of kibble from the beige/opaque container.

They usually ask for a snack around 3 or 4 in the afternoon, but you’re gonna be at work. They will go viral on TikTok when they complain of being starved while they do that old trend where people would stand one in front of the other and then 5 seconds in, switch positions. They saw Kate McKinnon do it with Elizabeth Warren. It’s kinda funny.

I aim (and a lot of times fail) to feed them at 9 pm.

• Just a smattering of kibble
• a nice heaping tablespoon of the wet cat food
• mash together
• win temporary approval from our feline overlords

The first litter box is in our bathroom. There’s a scoop for the poop, and a trash can to the left that you can dump it into. BEWARE: Every time you open the lid you will unleash a stench so foul it could be classified as Agent Orange Is The New Black.

The second litter box is outside of the main bathroom. As per CEC memo dated April 14, 2023, “Get to a safe distance. Do not engage.” That’s just my way of saying “the second trash can is just inside to the left. An industrial-strength scoop (looks at Murphy) is under the sink, on the right side.

The CDC has anointed this Pandora’s Box. You never know what eldritch horror you will unleash.

Remember, Milo is a fucking escape artist. He’s taken to jumping and trying to pull the door handle down with his paws. Once he convinces Murphy and Izzy to form a feline ladder.

Murphy is an asshole. You’ll see.

Izzy is “too old for this shit” and generally lays in bed when not eating or dropping pellets in the litter box.

Don’t worry about changing the litter. I took care of that late last week. I’m not going to say anything funny about that. The garbage bag is huge and litter is surprisingly heavy (the way Murphy scratches everywhere but his poop and makes a mess outside the box.

We suspect one of them pees on the mat after we run it through the washing machine.

The kids will ignore you for the most part, but then you wake up and Murphy is staring at you.

And that’s love.

ps Pictures. Not a lot. But a few. ;Cuz I’m gonna miss these little buggers.