I swear to god this has a happy ending.
About half an hour ago, Howard came to relive an old trauma.
Why? ‘Cuz he’s a fucking dick, that’s why. He likes kicking me when I’m down.
Not that I was down, per se. But it has been a rough couple of weeks with anxiety attacks.
Through no prompting of my own, Howard choose an old classic.
1981. Spring. Hamilton.
The weekend of the regional Sears Drama Festival.
An event takes place, that I must take some credit for, as it was my prior behaviour at our high school drama cast parties that gave them this idea.
I’m gonna stop you right there.
You do not get a pass to view the unredacted version of this.
I’m not giving Howard that satisfaction.
But I’m using it to discuss what I realized from this.
First, I was able – from memory – nail down the general timeline, and remember my thought processes immediately following the conclusion of this unspoken prank gone horribly wrong.
I wanted to disappear. But I was in an unknown city, with no idea where to go (especially as I didn’t have much money on me) or how to get back to Toronto.
I found an easy way to disappear. I could hear them searching for me.
I stayed hidden for an hour.
Things eventually resolved with profuse apologies.
The end.
That’s not the main takeaway.
This is.
That episode unlocked my first serious stretch of depression.
Realizing this is kinda freeing.
Obviously there’s nothing I can do to alter (diminish) the trauma.
I also realized that I was on the fringe of that group of friends. (Like those they had me share a hotel with that weekend.) And I may have been jealous about that at the time, but I’ve since made my peace. I don’t need to be everyone’s best friend.
Okay, so here’s the happy ending. (Depends on how you classify a happy ending. Put away your purses, tipping isn’t going to get you further.)
While Googling The Great Atomic Bomb Song and Dance Roadshow, which unsurprisingly brought up almost nothing (this was the early 80s, after all).
But I did find this.
This is NOT from our high school production. It IS, however, a remount in 1983 at the Alumnae Theatre.
I also discovered my old high school drama teacher has a YouTube page.
With over 1,000 subscribers.
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