The Bloody Doors Off

I don’t trust myself to write this blog post.

I can’t promise full honesty. I reserve the right to wimp out, or even delete this entry at a future date.

The world is extremely hard today.

Emotionally, I’m crippled.

Physically, I’m exhausted. The past two days, I’ve gone back to bed in the middle of the day and slept for a few hours.

There’s a tingling sensation in the back, right quadrant of my head.

Started a few minutes ago.

I’d rather cope with that, than deal with my other issues.

I don’t know why I feel this way. “This shall pass” helps in the moment. But overall.

I performed a mental checklist to see if I felt I was a danger or in danger.

The answer, while negative, was not immediate. And that scares me.

I can’t function on the lithium, but.

But what?

Do I go back on to the abilify?

I honestly don’t have any answers.

And I feel guilty for venting, because I know there are others worse off than me.

All of this is on a seemingly endless loop.