The Bloody Doors Off

What the fuck am I even doing here?

Graphic designer, playwright, occasional asshole

It’s a fucking after-school special

I am a reverse-toothless vampire.

Canines are intact. If I was a bloodsucker, I wouldn’t starve.

But I have to use my back teeth to chew.

There’s so much food in the fridge but I dunno how I’m gonna eat it.

‘Sides, can’t have hot things for the first 24 hours.

Let this be a lesson, kids.

Don’t fuck around with your teeth.

You’ll miss ’em when they’re gone.