The Bloody Doors Off

I have a hard time letting things go.

Example. My front teeth.

Clearly they gotta go. And the dentist was more than willing to yank them on Thursday.

But I couldn’t stand the idea of being without the dentures replacement. Even though it’d give my gums a better chance to heal.

One of them wiggles a little bit.

I’m praying it holds on until Monday, when I have my next surgery.

‘Cuz then I get the dentures.

Because I can’t let go of the vanity of missing teeth.

In the front of my mouth.

Which my wife would see.

And recoil from.

She says she wouldn’t.

But I know I’d look like.

That actor who played the alkie in To Have and Have Not.

Yep. There I go again, talkin’ about alcohol.

Clearly that’s on my mind as well.

Can’t let the past go.

I was what, eighteen, nineteen?

And I had a drinking problem.

I didn’t drink every day.

I binged.

Kept the bottle in my closet.

Went out to seedy bars.

Okay, I know I’ve told this story.

Yada yada yada, I hit bottom and went sober for over a decade.

The point is, I still think about it.

I can’t let it go.

My friend Maddy thinks I should self-publish my plays on Amazon.

For my legacy.

It’s a good idea.

But it would mean accepting that the plays I posted were finished.

I’d have to let them go.

I dunno if I can.

Why is this so damned hard?