The Bloody Doors Off

Would taking lithium stigmatize me?

(Yes, I still haven’t decided. Unlike my bipolar-led hyper-focused need to do things immediately, but because of the lead up time from weaning off of Abilify, this decision’s not gonna be made until the end of the month, I think.)

I saw a postcard on PostSecret today.

That said the writer didn’t tell people they were taking lithium, because they thought it would give people the impression that they were crazy.

And that hit home.

Plus, I’m still worried about the whole losing my creativity thing.

I may not be writing plays, at this moment, but I am writing daily.

I don’t want that to go away.

And I’m afraid it will.

What if my crazy is fuelling my creativity?

Which also fuels my impulsiveness and mania.

Is it better to at least try it and just see what happens?

But every time a stray thought passes through my mind.

That could be a great short play.

Fuck, I need to get this thought out before it eats my soul.

What if, while testing out the lithium, the one thought that was meant bounces off my brain and into someone else’s?

So if you wonder why.

A guy who has impulse control is being so passive.

It’s because of circular discussions such as this.