The Bloody Doors Off

I’m on my fourth cup of coffee in as many hours.

That’s how you can tell if I’m busy. Like counting rings on a tree to gauge its age, look to the amount of caffeine I’ve consumed to see how busy (or not) I am. When I’m engaged with work, I’ll have two cups. When I’m bored (like I have been all last week and now), I consume copious amounts.

And I could still take a nap.

I have an odd, recurring dream. It involves travel, usually to places I’d never consider visiting. Not because it wouldn’t be interesting, because in my dream it usually is. But it also involves byzantine airports and rescheduled flights. Even the seating on the plane is strange. And it feels so real, I’d almost think I was remote viewing. I can feel myself standing on the cold, wind-swept streets of the capital of Czechoslovakia (hey I spelled that without an assist), or the feel of warm sand between my toes on the beaches of Antigua.

I took a trip once I’d never gotten to finish. I was in Ireland, and was supposed to spend a couple of days in London before a week in Amsterdam, but had to come home because of an illness in the family. It’s a trip I vowed to finish some day. But the weeks pass by and I have new responsibilities and god, I have a CPAP now and there’s no way I’m backpacking through Europe with that so I’d have to stay in B&Bs or hotels which automatically changes the feel of what the trip was meant to be. And this was my solo trip. I have a family now. I want to take holidays with them. And I don’t think a walking tour of Amsterdam is high on their list. Understandably so.

And shit, the latest mini-vacation we’d planned for got cancelled by the Ontario government with their lockdown and stay-at-home order. I’m not sure how, isolating as we would be in a cottage 20 minutes outside of the nearest town would cause mass panic and make us a super-spreader event, but that’s how it is. We’re stuck for at least another month of this crap.

Maybe that’s why the dreams. I can’t go anywhere in my waking life. So.

I could go on a much longer rant about how the government has fucked all this up, that the anti-maskers are selfish assholes who — not that I’d ever consciously wish it on anyone — should get the ‘rona. But that’s pretty much just spitting in the wind. It’ll eventually ricochet and wind up hitting me square in the face.

And that’s the fourth coffee done. Back to waiting oh so patiently for potential work to trickle in.