The Bloody Doors Off

I’ve been resisting writing this for the past hour or so. Because I realize, deep down, how insane I’m going to sound.

So. A preface. I’m a sci-fi fantasy nerd. Have been since I saw the original Star Trek on TV. I can remember flipping over an ottoman and pretending it was a submersible vessel like in Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea. Which means, I’m well aware of the tropes embedded in science fiction.

And some of those ideas bleed into real life as well.

Specifically. There is a concept that with every action you take, there’s another universe where you took the opposition action, which then spins your life into a different direction. The possibilities are endless, and this is what I call the Infinity States of Being. (There’s an actual proper name for it, but I can’t think of it and am not interested in Googling it.) This is the basis of many a television show (The Man in the High Castle imagines a world in which the Nazis won WWII), movies and books.

(Back to me. This is my blog after all. And when shit threatens to overwhelm me, this is the one place I feel comfortable talking about it.)

This is going to sound nuts.

But I think I’m living in one of the darker timelines.

This wasn’t the life I was meant to have. My actions have all been the wrong ones. Somewhere out in the multiverse is a version of me living the life I was meant to have.

Told you it was stupid. But its a feeling I can’t shake. And it’s threatening to drive me ’round the bend.