The Bloody Doors Off

Monday, I had an appointment with my psychiatrist. Aside from having to work at being happy, a major suggestion was “Embrace the chaos”.

It came from me.

I can’t control what I can’t control. So why not embrace it instead?

You ever see Parenthood? The movie, not the television show. There’s a moment where Steve Martin is mentally on a roller coaster and he looks like he’s gonna throw up. But then he has a moment where he decides instead to embrace the ride, and it fundamentally changes him.

Oh, right. Spoilers.

So fuck it, I said “I’m gonna embrace the chaos.”

Today I got more responsibility at work. It already swallowed me up and spit me out the other side. But tomorrow’s another day. It threw me around the room, body slammed me to the floor, but I’m getting back up again.

The only reason I didn’t put in overtime was, I had 2 jobs from different clients waiting for me at home.

And I’m up early to do more edits.

Just wish there was a reset button in my head, basically a ‘temporary files’ wash-out. So I could sleep. Man, I need sleep.