The Bloody Doors Off

I don’t know if it’s nerves, or the weather. Something environmental. Or just chemical.

Bouncing. Mentally, emotionally. In the height of the snowstorm yesterday I was compelled to go out and run errands. Like I was issuing a ‘fuck you’ to the weather and my mental state. It happened last Saturday when it snowed heavy too.

I need to channel it into getting other stuff done. Collating the material for the school/grant application. Calling a case worker to get help. You know, stuff that’ll actually improve my life.

To believe I deserve the help.

Yeah, that’s the root of it. Accepting assistance, swallowing my pride and asking.