I’m awake. I guess that’s something. Did not want to wake up today. The alarm was set for 10am, and was in bed shortly after midnight. There was a fucked up dream where I was living with 11 strangers in a loft. Nightmare for someone who struggles to live with 1 roommate.
I can look at yesterday with more perspective. Given the ice storm, the thaw, etc., it’s obvious there are going to be frozen and burst pipes. Couldn’t escape the blackout, but I wish this hadn’t happened. That’s just dumb luck. But it’s shit that always seems to roll downhill onto me. What I really need right now is… a miracle. Something that’s going to change things. Get the ball rolling in a positive direction. My doctor tells me (and I remind myself) that I need to be proactive and not just react to things that happen. But fuck, it’s hard. Feel like I’ve been beat down and every time I try to make something happen, it just… stalls, or goes horribly awry.
So what am I doing wrong? What can I do right? How can I wake up from this nightmare?
The Bloody Doors Off 
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