The Bloody Doors Off

I’ve always put too much pressure on myself. It wasn’t always a bad thing. The drive to succeed, to be better, can be a positive motivator. But now, when I need to take things easier, to accept that change will take time and I can’t make changes overnight, that kind of pressure isn’t hard to let go of.

Here’s a prime example: last night I plugged in my phone to charge. Left it off because why leave it on? Today I had to remind myself — 5 times — to turn it on. Things slip my mind, and I don’t know if it’s a symptom of depression or bipolar (it probably is), and the weather doesn’t help.

Couldn’t motivate myself to go out and walk today. Won’t beat myself up about it, but it’s something I need to do daily. I need 2013 to be over. The pressure of this year’s been unbearable.