The Bloody Doors Off

Over-cooked the pork roast.

Now that’s out of the way…

Today sucked. Too much time on my hands, no motivation to write or go for a walk. Goddamn but I’m not happy. I worry that it’s this place. I’m half underground. I’ve got windows but a grey day like today, there’s no sunlight coming in and… the windows just aren’t big enough. The last apartment, I had a wall of windows. Granted, there was another apartment building across the way, but it felt better. More light, even when the sun was behind cloud. And it was more fun walking in Greektown. Even in my micro-neighborhood, there was more to enjoy. Yes, there’s a coffee shop opening a block away, but given that I’m in bankruptcy, and still unemployed, I need to count every penny. So the joy of going out and reading the paper while sipping a dark roast isn’t feasible.

I dunno man. My psychiatrist gave me his ‘light glasses’ a few years back. They’re frames with infra-red LEDs on the sides that help with seasonal effectiveness disorder. He’s got a lamp in his office; I’d love a lamp but, broken record. I should throw in new batteries and start wearing them again.

You know what I’d really love? WARM FEET. Because of the type 2 diabetes, the circulation in my toes suck. My old apartment kept the heat in (broken record) This place is nice but it’s gas heat, which costs (broken record) and even with thick socks my feet are cold. I’ve got three blankets on the couch, and guaranteed I’ve got one of them on my lap at any given time. And it’s December. I’m dreading March at this point.

And yes, while I’m at it, I’d like to rant about phone etiquette. I had someone call today about air duct cleaning. Now, my first thought upon hearing the name of the company (which included the words ‘air’ and ‘duct’) was “scam”. I mean, who in 2013 gets a phone call from a company claiming to be air duct cleaners and think “why yes, I’ll take this faceless company up on their offer without checking their credentials online, such as a website and such”.  At the very least, it was an outsourced call. But jeebus. The moment I said “sorry there are no air ducts here” he didn’t say “okay, thank you” or “thanks for your time”. No. He hung up. Just a fucking click. And you KNOW is was a random call because I only get 1% of my phone calls on my home phone now and it’s not registered to any property. So whatever mood I was already in, that just made it 10% shittier. The only reason I don’t get rid of that number is what would happen if my cell phone got wrecked. If I was working and could afford a replacement? Sure. But not now. But that also means paying $30 for a landline I may need if the cell breaks. So either way, it’s a waste. Ugh.

Now it’s after 10pm, I’m feeling like crap and even ranting like this isn’t helping.

I need to eat someone. Because the pork roast is dry. But only with permission first.

Because I’m a fine, young cannibal.