The Bloody Doors Off

Today is one of those days that send mixed messages.

Plus column:

• I’ve been writing. Managed to incorporate a new 8-page scene into the play. Also found a way ‘in’ to a new flashback where I need to introduce the father and mother, and a bit of the protagonist’s history.
• Got out for a short walk and picked up a few groceries. Bagels were 2-for-1 (never can go wrong with that).
• The weather was decent.

Minus column:

• At some point in my walk, the cap of my e-cig battery casing came out and fell out of my pocket. Which means no e-cig.
• Cigarette cravings, which meant buying a cheap ass convenience story e-cig, which tastes awful (seriously, those would make people go back to smoking)

Plus: My friend Mollie has a spare I can borrow.

Minus: Waiting.

My schedule’s out of whack this weekend. I need to make sure I get to bed earlier. And I’m stressing over the play. It’s becoming intensely personal. Cathartic, but there are times I have to stop because I need to breathe.

That’s where I trip myself up. I put expectations of what needs to happen as opposed to asking ‘what is reasonable for me to get done’? And I know it in my brain, but putting it into practice is a bitch.

I need to slow down. I need to breathe. And I need to say ‘it’s okay if I don’t get it all done today’.